The Vine News

I’ve always relied too heavily on my emotions.

In my youth, I banked on the trueness of a boyfriend’s love, without any real evidence, often just because it felt right, and I felt the same way too. When it ended, I’d be the only one heartbroken and confused.

In 2004, relying on my emotions nearly led to the collapse of my marriage.

My husband and I married in our late twenties, eager to start a life together. At first, we seemed happy enough, but it wasn’t long before we were headed for divorce.

Financial and family issues escalated all at once and stressed our marriage. As a young couple, we were once able to share all our troubles, thoughts and dreams. But later, we could barely communicate. I felt like I was married to a total stranger. Why was I so miserable around someone who once made me feel more loved and beautiful than anyone in the world?

What used to feel right, suddenly felt all wrong, and after consulting with several well-meaning girlfriends, instead of the Lord, I decided love wasn’t supposed to feel like this and I didn’t deserve to be unhappy. I shouldn’t be feeling all this pain. Surely I had married the wrong person.

Overwhelmed with how broken our marriage had become, my husband and I agreed to divorce and headed to court.

But something unexpected happened.

On our day in court, the judge refused to grant our divorce! I was shocked and confused, but I later realized that if the Lord hadn’t intervened and complicated our divorce proceedings, just long enough for me to assess what I was doing, I would have surely let my feelings lead me to end what I now count as one of my greatest blessings.

My husband and I are still married, and God added two more beautiful children to our family.

Looking back, I can see that the “truth” I thought I knew was really just based on the frustration I was feeling at the time. When my marriage grew difficult, I let my emotions rule, and it turns out they were dead wrong.

Both my husband and I have gone on to achieve goals that once seemed out of reach. Our family is prospering.

As my walk with the Lord becomes more consistent, I now realize that God is sensitive to the pain we feel in our marriages. He hasn’t promised us a marriage free of bad feelings. I’ve learned that my emotions are not trustworthy, but God is.

Victory in Jesus is not a feeling we believers have. It is the core truth that our entire lives should be centered around.

If your marriage has hit a rough spot, consider this:

God has the final say.

It’s easy to rely on your own emotions when you trust only yourself for the solution. You have an opinion and you have feelings, but only God has the truth that will result in the greatest good for your life and His kingdom. Emotions can convince us we have no hope and no future. But Jeremiah 29:11 says God has “plans to give us a hope and a future.” Yes, it may feel like your marriage is headed for divorce, but sometimes, God calls us to work against our feelings and put our trust in Him alone for the right outcome.

Remember that Satan Lies.

Satan loves to convince married people that they’ve married the wrong person, or that they have good reason to break their promise to God. When we are overly-reliant on emotions instead of on God’s promises, we’ve set up a easy opening for the enemy to convince us that God can’t fix our problems.

Don’t Rush to Make Your Decision

The Bible tells us to “be still and know that He is God.” This means wait, seek him, and trust in the power of the Most High to handle the trials of life. God does not expect us to figure everything out because He knows that we can’t. How could we know what’s best when we don’t know where God is leading us?

You can’t critique a book after reading one chapter and we can’t know what the future holds by looking only at today. Only God knows how the story of our life will unfold. When we rush to fix complicated issues ourselves without divine guidance, it can surely lead to disaster.

Marriage gets hard sometimes, and hurt feelings are almost inevitable in any relationship. But hurt feelings are not at all an accurate measure of the potential two people can reach, with God’s help.